I don't know what I did, but apparently I've offended this old woman at work. I guess because I had the audacity to ask her to do her job. How dare I use the three binders she so graciously gave me six months ago! I should have kept them under lock and key and just stared at them instead of actually doing my job and using them.

This old bat (I've put up with her attitude and nonsense for a year so I'm officially allowed to call her an old bat) is in charge of the supplies for our office. If we need anything, we're supposed to email her a request and she is supposed to have the supplies delivered to us in a timely fashion. Which she does…for everyone else.

I don't know. Maybe she's pissed that they hired me instead of letting Katrina be the paralegal despite the fact that Katrina had no experience and no degree and I had both. But it's like ever since I started working here, she's been nothing but rude. If I ask her for creamer or sugar for the executive break room she'll purse her lips and hand me one canister of creamer and one canister of sugar. If someone else in my part of the office asks for it, they typically come back with three each. I've taken to just going to the claims break room and stealing their creamer and sugar instead of having to deal with her.

We're supposed to take our FedEx packages to her after the mailroom closes so she can print a label and have it dropped off after hours. I took one the other day and she looked at me, rolled her eyes, went "ugh, fine" and snatched the package from my hands. I have to have 4" binders for the log-ins that I have to do and I ran out after having done so many from when I was out. I emailed her on Thursday to ask for more. Typically we're supposed to get our supplies by the end of the business day or first thing the next morning. If they aren't available, she's supposed to let us know that she's ordering them. By the end of the day on Friday, I still had no notebooks and no word about whether or not I was getting any. So John emailed her because she likes John. But she obviously knew he was asking for them for me so she totally ignored his email. Now here it is Tuesday and I still have no notebooks. I probably won't have any by Friday either and my log-ins just keep growing and growing and growing. But I can't do them until I have notebooks.

If I haven't gotten them by Wednesday afternoon I'm going to have to say something to my boss. I hate to do it because I don't like to get anyone in trouble, but this has gone on way too long and it is far past time for it to stop. I don't care if she likes me, but she is going to respect me. It doesn't matter if she is older than I am. I have done nothing to her to make her act like that. I have been nothing but sugar sweet to her since the time I first started this job.

I told another woman I work with about it and she says that's just the old bat and how she is. If you want her to be nicer to you, you have to really cake on the sweetening and the compliments and be like "Oh, Ms. Baaba, you're so good at what you do. No one could do better than you. I hope you know I really appreciate everything you've done for me…"

Uh, no. Not gonna happen. I tell her please and thank you and the typical politeness, but I'm not gonna lie and say that I think she's the best one for the job that she has or that I think she's doing a fantastic job. She should do what she gets paid to do because she knew what the job entailed when she applied for it. If she didn't want to have to work with other people, she should have looked for a different position. If she didn't want to have to be subservient to those around her, she should have applied for a management position. She should practice common courtesy and manners whether she likes a person or not. I've smiled into the face of murderers knowing they were guilty as sin and offered them coffee; I didn't like it, but it was my job and so I did it.

Yes, I'm young. Yes, I was hired to fill a position that her friend wanted. But, damnit, I deserve the same amount of respect as anyone else in this office.

***Baaba - Japanese slang (rude) for grandmother

I'm far too uninspired for this section right now...

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I'm seeing red right now.

Last week when my company switched me over to hourly from salary the second week in the pay period and forced me to have to clock in and out every day, I, not knowing exactly what I was doing, managed to accrue 14 minutes ($4.00) in overtime. This has, apparently, caused some sort of volcanic eruption in the management department and they are now throwing a shit fit.

I'm sorry, but I can't help it that they waited a full fucking year to tell me that they made a mistake in hiring me as salary and forcing me to use a program that I knew nothing about in order to clock in and out every day. I've already been lectured five times since last week for clocking in before 8:00 in the morning or for clocking in early from lunch. So now I'm having a difficult enough time just making the required 40 hours a week. I arrive at work between 7:45-7:50 a.m. every morning. Instead of just sitting here and staring at a wall, I like to make myself useful and start in on the "to do" pile that sits on my desk every day. Except that I get involved in my work and I don't realize that I haven't clocked in till 8:03 or 8:05 and even 8:15 one day. That's 3, 5, or 15 minutes that I don’t get paid for. But should I try to make up for that time by leaving for lunch early, coming back early, or staying late, they want to throw a hissy! They fucking hired me at a base yearly amount and I expect to get paid that amount regardless of whether I'm hourly or salary otherwise they're going to be finding another paralegal. That's all there is to it. If they don’t like it then that's just tough luck. They're the ones who suddenly decided to change my pay code.

I wish they would just leave me the hell alone about it. I'm doing the best I fucking can. Maybe if they had done what they were supposed to do when they first hired me instead of waiting a YEAR to say, "oops, our bad" then we wouldn't be having this problem. This is NOT my fault. THEY are the ones to blame. So if I clock in early or clock out a little late, it's not so that I can get their precious overtime - it's so that I can get my full paycheck which these bastards are obviously trying to screw me out of!

I guess I'm just going to have to stop whatever I'm doing at 7:55, 11:55, 12:55, and 4:55 and just sit there and stare at the computer clock so that I can make sure I clock in an out on the exact our without getting even a second of overtime. Heaven forbid they have to give me a penny extra. And when someone asks why I'm not working, I'll simply reply with, "Well, I'd hate for the bosses to have a coronary and since they're more concerned with whether or not I punch in and out on time than whether or not I get any work done, I figured I'd better just sit here and watch the seconds tick by."

Thank GOD I leave for week long vacation on Saturday. I don't think I can take this shit for much longer.

Cassie (Acoustic)
Flyleaf

The question asked in order
To save her life or take it
The answer no avoided death
And yes would make it

Do you believe in God
Written on a bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
And my sister, Cassie, pulled it

They didn't love their lives
So much as to shrink from death
Inspired in their footsteps
We will march ahead

Don't be shocked that people die
Be surprised your still alive

All heads are bowed in silent reverence
The floor is wet with tears of sorrowful remembrance
The alter's filled with hearts of repentence
Perfect love kills all fear
Rejoice in this deliverance

They didn't love their lives
So much as to shrink from death
Inspired in their footsteps
We will march ahead

Don't be shocked that people die
Be surprised your still alive

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Ooh! We leave on Saturday at 8:40 a.m. I'm so excited! I just got finished packing everything that I'm going to take that I don't need between now and then. I tried desperately to keep my checked backage down to one bag and one duffle, but suitcase just wasn't big enough. I tried really really hard to stuf everything in. I even sat on the suitcase. Unfortunately......So I'm ending up with one large suitcase (full!) and one small suitcase (mostly full with room for suveniers) and one duffle bag (for shoes, hair products, makeup, pajamas, etc.) as checked and my purse and my computer bag as carry on.

Cassie (Acoustic)
Flyleaf

The question asked in order
To save her life or take it
The answer no avoided death
And yes would make it

Do you believe in God
Written on a bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
And my sister, Cassie, pulled it

They didn't love their lives
So much as to shrink from death
Inspired in their footsteps
We will march ahead

Don't be shocked that people die
Be surprised your still alive

All heads are bowed in silent reverence
The floor is wet with tears of sorrowful remembrance
The alter's filled with hearts of repentence
Perfect love kills all fear
Rejoice in this deliverance

They didn't love their lives
So much as to shrink from death
Inspired in their footsteps
We will march ahead

Don't be shocked that people die
Be surprised your still alive

My Writings:
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Just six days till my Disney trip - I'm uber excited!

But that wasn't my thought. My thought was: it seems like the pieces that usually mean the most to the artist are the ones that are barely viewed and it's the everyday, emotionless pieces (i.e. stamps/fanart) that get and comments? It's almost like no one cares about emotion in art anymore.

I'm just saying...

Cassie (Acoustic)
Flyleaf

The question asked in order
To save her life or take it
The answer no avoided death
And yes would make it

Do you believe in God
Written on a bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
And my sister, Cassie, pulled it

They didn't love their lives
So much as to shrink from death
Inspired in their footsteps
We will march ahead

Don't be shocked that people die
Be surprised your still alive

All heads are bowed in silent reverence
The floor is wet with tears of sorrowful remembrance
The alter's filled with hearts of repentence
Perfect love kills all fear
Rejoice in this deliverance

They didn't love their lives
So much as to shrink from death
Inspired in their footsteps
We will march ahead

Don't be shocked that people die
Be surprised your still alive

My Writings:
Shared Stock Account:

These days I seem to have several topics about which to write and none of them ever seem to be related to one another in any way…

1) I'd like to be the first to welcome everyone to the U.S.S.A (the United Soviet States of America) as I feel certain we shall soon find it necessary to change the name of our country to fit its new political regime. It is a land where the basic freedoms granted to us by our founding fathers are slowly but surely being compromised in such a way that the majority doesn't even realize it's happening; where this very afternoon our children are being led by the Fourth Reich.

But, perhaps I'm making my contempt for the new government too obvious, so...

Hiel!

2) Okay, why are men so blasted nasty? Is it really that bloody difficult to take a wad of toilet paper and wipe off the seat and floor where your bad aim has left a mess? I shouldn't have to clean up some guy's piss every time I go in the bathroom just because he's a lazy slob. It's disgusting and unsanitary. This is a place of business, not a frat house.

3) Only 11 more days till I leave for Disney World! I'm so excited! This will be my second trip and my friend, Mindy's, first trip. And she's lucky enough that her birthday happens to fall on our last full day there.

4) So, I recently heard that the world market is pretty much ceasing research and production of alternative, clean fuels because some mega oil deposit was recently discovered in Brazil or somewhere. Yeah, that does us a world of good. It's not like we'll ever use it. We'll drill it, put it in barrels and then stick it in the same hidey-hole the rest of our oil is being stored in while we continue to buy from the monopoly known as OPEC. Why, you may ask? Well, my dears, the answer is quite simple: stock. Our self-righteous leaders have mega stock in OPEC. We have enough oil in our stores right now to put OPEC out of business (or at least force them to compete for business) and lower gasoline prices back to reasonable amounts, but we'll never do it. Because darlings, our political representatives are much happier lining their pockets than ours. It's a sad example of the old saying, "the rich get richer and the poor get screwed."

5) I rented that Ben Stein documentary Monday - Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. It was really, pretty good, though it was really sad to hear what so many people have to say about those of us who believe in a creator. It's really unfair that Christians in the scientific community pretty much have to keep their beliefs under lock and key or face being fired and black listed. I thought science was supposed to be all about hypothesis and theory that would explain the otherwise unexplainable. Why then, is it so horrible to postulate on the theory that we did not come from apes or single celled organisms swimming in the primordial ooze as Darwin and so many others believe? How is it more far fetched to believe there some awesome being thought us and all that we know into existence when there are people who believe that nothing bumped into nothing and caused an explosion that somehow resulted in the solar system as we know it today? Really, if you read the Big Bang Theory, that's exactly what it's saying; a big mass of nothingness bumped into another big mass of nothingness and created something. Which really goes against everything I've ever been taught…how do you get something out of nothing?


6) And finally…when I was browsing the web for design ideas for the dress in my latest deviation, I came across a forum for a church where a Pastor Ezekiel had posted pictures of an anime LoliGoth as well as a picture from the Lolita and Gothic Bible claiming that this particular fashion was evil, wicked, sinful, and that the girls who wore these clothes were sluts. He also had a few choice words to say about the "chinks" and "slants" who had made this style popular. I was, to say the least, appalled. The idea that a man who claimed to be a man of God could use such language and think that there was nothing inappropriate about it when chastised by someone on the board is unfathomable to me. I just don't understand the desire to harbor such hate against a culture and people that you know nothing about just because they don't look like you, talk like you, or dress like you…or even worship like you.

It is quite obvious that he and I do not worship the same God. My God is the embodiment of love and perfection. He created us in His image and then gave us the gift of free will because it is much more meaningful when a person loves and worships you because they want to and not because you make them. Yes, He is a jealous God who, like a good parent, wants His children to understand and know the power and majesty of His love and He mourns when His children turn from Him to another. But like any good parent, He still loves us unconditionally. He may dislike our actions or our beliefs and we may vex Him from time to time, but that doesn't stop Him from loving us. And we, as His children, are supposed to express that love to others, to teach others the joy it is to know and follow Him. And the best way to do that is through our words and our actions. We are supposed to be a living example of God's love for us. So I cannot believe that that God, my God, could condone such close-mindedness and hatred in a man who has vowed to be His shepherd.

And Pastor Ezekiel (and I use that term loosely) just so happened to have his email address on this forum. I couldn't help but to email him and express how appalled I was by his words and actions. Apparently, I really angered him by pointing out his flawed views on God because he replied and told me, among other things, to rot in hell. What a joy it must be to be part of his congregation. I wonder if he passes out the white sheets or if he has a special deacon appointed for that…

I'm Still Breathing
Katy Perry

I leave the gas on
Walk the alleys in the dark
Sleep with candles burning
and leave the door unlocked

I'm weaving a rope and
Running all the red lights
Have I got your attention
'Cause I'm sending out the signs

That the clock is ticking
and I'm giving my two weeks
Pick your favorite shade of black
You'd best prepare a speach.

Say something funny
Say something swee
But don't say that you loved me

'Cause I'm still breathing
But we've been dead for a while
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
We've lost a grip
Best abandon ship

Oh

Maybe I was too pale
Maybe I was too fat
Maybe you found better
Better luck in the sack

No formal education
I swore way too much
I swear you didn't care
'Cause we were in love

So as I write this letter
And I shed one last tear
It's all for the better
That we end this here

Let's close this chapter
Say one last prayer
But don't say that you loved me

'Cause I'm still breathing
But we've been dead for a while
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
We've been diagnosed
Let's give up the ghost

'Cause I'm still breathing
But we've been dead for a while
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
We've lost a grip
Best abandon ship

I'm still breathing
I'm still breathing

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